My clients often tell me they suffer from ‘Imposter Syndrome’ or feeling almost fraudulent in their day to day lives. I’m here to reassure you that even I have days and moments like that too. Back in 2020, when the world turned upside down, I had this deep and overwhelming feeling that took over me. I’d often say to myself – “I’m a fraudulent coach.”
Spiritual Teacher or Fraudulent Coach?
For the past ten years, I have lived my life mostly in the ‘light’, focusing upon the Law of Attraction and Manifestation. Although I have had ups and downs during this period, I was always pretty confident that I had the tools and knowledge to tackle most of life’s hurdles. I had a deep belief that I was a spiritual teacher, a positive person and an all-round badass Manifester, these things were grounding, and it often meant I would take things in my stride. I’m not saying I didn’t have moments of wavering. Of course, there were moments of hardship and difficulty, but for the most part, I felt I had strong roots that would allow me to weather whatever life threw at me. That is until 2020 hit.
2020 – Thanks, But No Thanks
2020 did a number on me and had me hitting my knees and surrendering almost from the get-go. This is where that belief slipped in: “I’m a fraudulent coach.” It felt like someone had taken the earth and shaken it like a snowglobe, and like many people, I struggled. I had fear, anxiety and worry over this situation I had no control over. Suddenly I was going from celebrating life and living in alignment to crying silently to myself as I put my toddler to bed. To make things worse, I would beat myself up for having this reaction. “I’m supposed to be a spiritual teacher,” I would think, ” But all I am is a fraudulent coach.”
I felt very torn in the moment. Instead of trying to live in the flow (where I already know life is good), I found myself continually showing up in that path of resistance. Of course, this made my experience much harder, but it allowed me to witness the work I still had to do. Eventually, instead of pushing against my practice, I leant in a little deeper. Longer meditations, stronger affirmations and all of the kindness I could muster up for myself. It was at this moment that I realised when I said: “I’m a fraudulent coach.” I was utterly wrong, and if anything, I can help more people because of the experience I have had.
If You Feel This Way Try These Steps
I want you to know that you can always surrender some more, even when you think you have already fully surrendered. It’s not fraudulent to feel ‘Imposter Syndrome” or go through a hard time. If you find yourself in a period like this, follow these steps to help get you through:
- Witness that you are in this state, but it is not who you are but merely a reflection of where you are in your journey.
- Say “Thank you” and feel gratitude for experiencing this period and allowing you the time to reflect upon it.
- Be kind to yourself and withdraw all judgement applying forgiveness where needed.
- Identify what needs work and go inwards to find the answer.
This journey is one of greatness with many up moments and some down moments too, but would we really be able to appreciate the light without the darker times?
Have you had experience feeling like this in your life? How did 2020 and the subsequent fall out of the world turning upside down fare for you? I’d love to hear your experience in the comments below!
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