Do you ever struggle to say no? Do you feel you have to excuse your response or justify it in some way? I certainly used to. In fact, this way of framing things had me crippled with guilt and prevented me from setting appropriate boundaries and living the life I wanted. No, is a full sentence – once you learn that you are genuinely free.
What Is Our Purpose Here On Earth?
We are spirit having a human experience, right? Based on this, the number one purpose of that is to find and live in joy. When you struggle to say no, or you avoid no at the detriment to your own happiness, you are going against everything you are here for. It’s great to make people feel joy and happiness, but that isn’t our job. Our job is to find happiness within ourselves, and subsequently, everyone else job is to find happiness in themselves too! By not setting that boundary, you are compromising your own happiness. Remember – happiness is a choice.
I Don’t Want To Hurt Someone Else.
Most of the time, when we struggle to say no, it’s because we don’t want to hurt or let someone else down. I get it. The pull of guilt here is strong. However, you end up just hurting and disappointing yourself if you don’t follow your own wishes, so it is essentially a lose-lose situation.
The truth of the matter is that often this scenario is created solely in our own mind. We assume how the other party will react, but from my experience, being honest, open, and setting a clear boundary actually makes the situation better. There is a more tremendous respect, and everyone is ultimately just happy to be on the same page.
You Don’t Need To Justify Yourself.
If you find that you are saying no, but it comes with a whole book of justification, then you are doing it wrong. No, is a full sentence. You do not need to give an excuse, reasoning or any justification of any sort. Setting the boundary is enough. I’m not saying that it is easy at first because it can feel quite intimidating to use no alone in its complete form, but you will feel a true liberation once you have.
It’s Not About Being Rude
Listen, we don’t want to be rude, right? I don’t think there are many situations in life where being rude is appropriate, and setting a boundary and saying no is undoubtedly not one of them. You want to be firm, clear and understood, but you don’t need to be cold, harsh or rude. The great thing about having no as a full sentence is that there is no room for misinterpretation. If you deliver it from a place of love, there really can be no problems.
It is entirely acceptable to say no. Setting boundaries is healthy and beneficial, and you should be putting your own happiness first. Give it a try. It’s quite liberating!